In third grade, I got special permission to wear an old-lady black velvet hat in school, because it was so important to my identity. After years of day jobs and a busy comedy career, I summoned the courage of my inner eight-year-old in a black velvet hat, and quit. I went to portfolio school and it was the best choice I could have made. When I’m not writing, you can find me in the candle aisle sniffing out the worst scent.

I promise never to use “best” to close an email. alexandra.tsarpalas@gmail.com